How To Stop Making Excuses And Start Achieving Your Goals!

Do you have health and fitness goals but find yourself making excuses instead of following through? Here’s some advice for dealing with an excuse habit.

“If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If not, you’ll find an excuse.” Jim Rohn

We all make excuses. For me, it’s often about writing articles or social media posts. I’ve often said: “I just don’t have time to write or post more”.

It’s true that I’m busy. I have a husband, 2 kids, a very energetic dog, I work full-time, I exercise, my husband and I prep and cook most of our meals every week, and there are always a hundred household tasks to do and errands to run.

But am I really too busy to write or post more? No, not really. I can make the time. After all, I make time to exercise and prepare meals. I make time to do those household tasks. I make time to play with my kids and walk my dog, I make time to see friends and family, I even watch tv in the evenings and play silly games on my phone.

Claiming not to have time is just an excuse. It’s a way of deflecting and denying my responsibility for my behavior.

That’s what excuses are. They’re a psychological crutch, a way of protecting your ego from the truth, which is that you are choosing not to follow through.

People often say “can’t” when they really mean “won’t”. “I can’t eat healthy food like that”, “I can’t exercise 5 days a week”, “I can’t get to bed before 11pm”.

There’s nothing physically stopping you from doing those things. You can do them, but you won’t. You don’t want to. You’re choosing not to, and you justify that choice to yourself and to others by blaming external factors.

Does this mean that if you make excuses you're simply lazy or unmotivated? No!

There are real issues that lead to excuse-making, and there are ways to address those issues so you can move forward.

Why Do We Make Excuses?

If excuses are a way of protecting yourself, what are we protecting yourself from?

Often it’s a mismatch between your values and your actions. Values are an important part of your self-image, the way you see yourself.

We might tell yourself that you value being healthy and active, but when you act in a way that’s not in line with those values, like skipping exercise or eating ultra-processed convenience foods instead of cooking, it creates a disconnect.

To learn more, check out my article on How To Use Your Deep and Meaningful Values to Find Motivation to Exercise.

You’re not acting out the values you say you have, and that threatens your sense of self. Maybe you don’t really value those things. Maybe you’re not willing to work that hard for the things you say are important to you.

Those are scary thoughts, and your instinct is to avoid them as much as you possibly can. Enter the excuses. Instead of having to face the reality of your inner self, you will rationalize and justify your behavior.

Another reason you make excuses is that you’re afraid. This is where my article-writing and posting excuses come from. Posting my work on social media is anxiety-provoking for me. It comes down to a fear of putting myself out there, of being judged, of failure.

Instead of facing those fears, I reflexively fall back on excuses. I can make the time to write and post if I really want to, but I don’t really want to because I’m afraid that my writing won’t be good, or that people won’t read it. Those feelings are difficult and unpleasant and I’d rather avoid them.

How To Overcome Your Excuses So You Have A Chance Of Achieving Your Goals:

Step 1: Face your excuses and see them for what they are.

Next time you find yourself thinking or saying “I can’t…” or making an excuse, stop and challenge yourself. Acknowledge what you’re doing, then consider the reason for it.

Since your excuse is really a choice not to do something, why are you making that choice?

Is there a difference between the values you want to have and those you really do have?

Do you want to value leading a healthy lifestyle but you really value something else more? Do you value the immediate gratification of sitting on the couch and watching tv more than the longer-term benefits you’ll get from being active? Is the taste and convenience of ultraprocessed food more important to you than the long-term benefits of healthy eating?

If so, it's ok. Really consider what you want and how badly you want it.

Maybe you do value your health, just not enough to give up your free time or your favorite foods. That’s perfectly fine, and the sooner you recognize what you really value and how important it is to you, the sooner you’ll be able to set realistic goals and make plans that match your level of commitment.

Once you do that, you’ll be able to achieve those goals, and maybe grow them into bigger ones if that’s what you want.

For help setting goals, download my FREE Goal-Setting Guide. This eBook will walk you through the steps of setting an effective goal and help you create a plan to follow through.

Are your excuses coming from a place of fear?

Leading a healthy lifestyle isn’t easy. It takes hard choices, dealing with unpleasantness, making sacrifices, and putting in a lot of effort. It means getting out of your comfort zone, and that’s a tough thing to do.

We’re programmed to prioritize comfort and ease, and it’s difficult to push ourselves out of that.

What’s more, making an effort to change brings up other fears. You might be afraid to fail, especially in a public way. You might be afraid of being judged.

When your coworker offers you a donut, saying no makes you vulnerable. You’re signaling that you are trying to eat healthier, so they might notice that you’re out of shape or unhealthy.

They might judge you for it. If they know you’re trying to achieve a goal and if you don’t manage to do it, they’ll know you failed. It’s easier and less scary to simply eat the donut.

If you’re trying to exercise more, you might feel self-conscious about the way you look or move in a gym setting. You might fear being judged or looking silly because you’re not sure which exercises to do or if you’re doing them right.

You might fear the unknown. A lot of people have a distorted view of what leading a healthy lifestyle really means. They think it means sacrifice, suffering, restriction, and deprivation.

They’re worried that if they really commit to healthy behaviors that they’ll have to give up all the foods they love, or suffer through intense and painful workouts. It feels safer and more comfortable not to even try. *Side note - that’s not really what leading a healthy lifestyle is about at all*.

Step 2: Get out of the habit of justifying and rationalizing.

“I’m going to eat a donut, but it’s only because I’ve had a really stressful day” or “it’s ok because I’ve been eating so healthy lately.” “I’ve been running around all week, I need to skip my workout today to rest.”

When you try to rationalize and excuse your behavior, you’re just covering up your true motivations. It’s important that you be honest with yourself about your choices.

“I’m eating this donut because I want to and it’s easy and tasty.” “I’m tired and I would rather relax than exercise today.” There. That’s true.

There’s nothing wrong with eating a donut or taking a day to rest. On their own, neither of those things will derail your healthy lifestyle goals.

But if you have a habit of rationalizing, justifying, and making excuses, you’re much more likely to let these single actions snowball into a pattern of behaviors that will undermine your ability to achieve your goals.

To break that pattern, start looking out for rationalizations and push back against them. Stop yourself when you start to justify something you know doesn’t align with your goals. Simply be honest with yourself about why you’re doing it.

Step 3: Start dealing with the underlying reasons for your excuses.

Once you have an idea of what’s standing in your way and you’re being honest with yourself about your motivations, you can start to do something about your excuses.

If it’s a values disconnect:

If you’ve convinced yourself that a certain value or goal is more important to you than it really is, then work on increasing the importance of that value.

For healthy eating and exercise, that means learning about the true benefits and what you have to gain.

Many people are motivated to lead a healthy lifestyle for reasons that just aren’t strong or deep enough to truly motivate them. They want to lose weight for an upcoming event or improve their heath to avoid a lecture at the doctor’s office. Those aren’t very effective for long-term motivation.

A lot of people don’t realize the many deeper benefits of leading a healthy lifestyle, like the mood and energy-boosting power of movement, the fact that exercise can improve the way your mind functions, or that healthy eating helps the bacteria in your gut, which affect everything from your immune system to your brain.

There are immediate and powerful benefits to leading a healthy lifestyle that can help you feel and function better every day. The more you know about those benefits, the more likely you are to place a higher importance on them.

Try to understand how those benefits can help you support the things you value the most in your life.

You can also recalibrate your goals and expectations to match your true values. If being active is important to you but not important enough to give up other activities, then set yourself a small exercise goal that you’re willing to work for.

It doesn’t have to be the most important thing in your life, and you’ll gain a lot by adopting even small healthy habits into your usual routine.

If it’s fear:

Work on taking away the power of your fear. People often allow their fears to grow bigger than they really are. We catastrophize, imagining worst-case scenarios that will never come, and we allow ourselves to be held back by things we can’t control.

You don’t have any control over what other people think of you, whether they judge you, or how they react to your actions. It’s really hard to do, but caring less about what others think is a big step forward.

Building skills, confidence, and knowledge also helps. If you fear the unknown, learn about it so it’s no longer unknown.

Find out exactly what an effective exercise routine and healthy eating plan is. It can be much less intense and time-consuming than you think!

When you feel confident and secure in your actions, you’re less likely to feel afraid of failure or judgement.

I don’t feel the need to make excuses about my exercise or eating habits the way I do with my writing and posting, because I feel confident in my abilities in those areas. I’ve spent time and effort working on the basics, building up my skills and knowledge, and that fills me with self-belief.

Preparation can be your biggest asset for overcoming your fears. Think about exactly what you’ll say to that coworker when they offer you an unhealthy snack you don’t want to eat. Rehearse it if you need to.

Think about exactly what you’ll do in the gym so you walk in with a purpose and don’t risk feeling out of place. Have a diversion ready, like an audiobook or podcast, that you can focus on and block out any potential distractions or judgy people around you.

There are even more tactics you can use to build your confidence and minimize your fears. You can set yourself up for success by setting small goals, making plans, and using smart strategies to help you follow through.

Finally, learn to accept failure. Change is hard, and you’re going to fail. That’s ok. Start thinking of failure as an opportunity to learn and grow. With that mindset, failure becomes a positive part of your journey, not something to fear.

Making excuses can prevent you from achieving your goals, but you can stop the excuse cycle with a little work and self-reflection. It’s not easy, but you have so much to gain!