Changing The Stories You Tell Yourself About Exercise

 “I hate exercising.” I hear this a lot.

People will often follow up: “I go to a HIIT class sometimes and it’s horrible.” “Running is so boring to me.”

Sometimes they’ll share even more. A bad gym class experience. A goal to run a 5K that was never achieved.

Many people know they should exercise to support their health and fitness but, over time, their negative experiences with exercise have melded together into a personal narrative, a self-identity, a story they tell themselves about who they are. “I am not an exerciser.” “I hate exercising.”

These personal narratives will prevent you from doing what you need to do to achieve your goals.

But are those stories really true? Or do they have to be? I don’t think so.

If you want to, you can choose to rewrite your personal narratives and change your story in a way that works for you and allows you to thrive.

Changing Your View Of Exercise

In my experience, many people with negative personal narratives related to exercise also have a very narrow view of what exercise is and how they should do it.

The first step is to reframe your ideas about exercise. There is more than one way to exercise, and it’s incredibly important to find the best way for you.

Athletes Who Don’t Run

Sprinting legend Usain Bolt famously claims he has never even run a mile. More recently, Olympic gold medalist sprinter Gabby Thomas discussed her difficulty running a mile. She says she does it once a year, and she finds it brutal.

Elite sprinters are power athletes, not endurance athletes. Distance running, even the 5-7 minutes it would probably take them to run a mile, doesn’t play to their natural strengths.

I won’t get into the exercise physiology here, but an elite sprinter and an elite distance runner are totally different athletes. They have different muscle fiber types. They have different enzyme concentrations, their bodies are better at using different fuel sources.   

Of course running a mile would feel tough for Usain Bolt and Gabby Thomas (and most people).

Imagine if they had been forced to run laps in middle school gym class, or told by their doctor or coach that they should be doing distance running for their health or their training.

They might have thought they weren’t good at running. They might have given up running altogether and never become world-class sprinters.

Then we would have missed out on their great feats of speed.

Finding Your Exercise

Maybe becoming an elite athlete isn’t in the cards for you (same here!). Maybe you just want to be healthy and to feel and function at your best.

There’s no “right” type of physical activity to accomplish that. There’s no type of exercise you “need” to do. You can choose to exercise in a way that feels good for you and still achieves what you want to achieve, whether that’s improving your physical health or your mental health.

HIIT classes are not the only way. Neither is heavy strength training (although I am a big proponent of that). Pilates, running, and swimming are not required either.

A narrow view of exercise will only lock you into your old narrative even further.

If “exercise” means distance running or boot camp and you struggle with those types of exercise, then of course you’re going to think “I don’t like exercise”.

But if what you really mean is “I don’t like distance running” or “I don’t like boot camp”, that’s different. If someone said to me (and they have) “I don’t want to go for a long run, I don’t like it”. I would say “Ok, you don’t have to.”

Maybe you could sprint. That’s still running, but it feels totally different. What about calisthenics like bodyweight exercises and jumping that gets your heart rate up? Similar health benefits, very different vibe. What about hiking or kayaking?

Within the broad category of resistance training, there are a lot of different ways to train.

You can lift heavy weights for few repetitions (this is my favorite way), or you could lift lighter weights for a lot of repetitions. You could use kettlebells, or machines, or your own bodyweight. These are all resistance training, but the experience of each type is very different.

Changing Your View Of Yourself

Once you’ve expanded your view of exercise, it’s time to reexamine your personal narratives.

I can tell you in my experience with depression and anxiety, my brain long ago locked in some very specific narratives and assigned meaning to my experiences that has colored the way I perceive myself and the world ever since.

As an adult, I’ve finally been able to challenge and break free of many of those narratives, with the help of strength training and running. It’s amazing that these ideas I was clinging to, that felt so absolutely true, were actually just stories I was telling myself. They weren’t true at all.

It’s time to think about your personal narratives as they relate to exercise.

Is there an old unpleasant experience from gym class that makes you think you’re uncoordinated or unfit? Is that really true? If it is, are you capable of improving?

Do you really hate that group fitness class, or are there some parts of it you don’t mind so much?

Is there something about your perceived abilities that exercise could actually help you challenge and change?

For example, do you get bored easily and it holds you back from following through on projects? Maybe it’s time to lean into a type of exercise you’ve always thought was boring, as a way to challenge yourself and build the skill of persistence in the face of boredom and discomfort.

There are so many ways you could think about exercise and your relationship to it.

If you’ve been in the habit of simply accepting these old, ingrained narratives, it’s time for some introspection. Challenge yourself and find a new way forward, so you can become elite in the sport of thriving.