How To Get Started With Behavior Change

I recently posted an article about why change is so hard. If you haven’t read that one yet, you can check it out here.

In that article, I explain the two systems in your brain that guide your behavior: your rational brain which is responsible for what you should do to achieve your goals, and your emotional brain, which is all about what you want to do.

You can think of your rational brain system as a human rider, sitting on top of an elephant (the elephant is your emotional brain system).

Those two parts of your brain are often in conflict, and most of the time your emotional brain is the one that’s in charge.

If you’re finding it hard to make healthy changes in your life, here are a few strategies you can try to get your rider and elephant moving in the same direction.

I learned these from a great book called Switch: How to change things when change is hard, by Dan Heath and Chip Heath.

Strategies For Your Rider

Have a clear and specific idea of what you need to do.

If the rider doesn’t know exactly where they want to go, how can we expect them to direct the elephant there? They’ll just go in circles.

A big mistake is not being specific enough about your goals. Your rider needs more than just a vague direction, they need a very detailed and specific map. You need to know exactly what you want to do and how you will do it.

It’s not enough to say “I’m going to work out more”. That doesn’t give the rider enough direction.

Instead, you should have a well thought-out plan, like “I’m going to work out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 6pm at the gym near my house. I already know the exact workout I’m going to do. I have a plan to make sure that I don’t forget my workout clothes at home, and here is what I’m going to do if I have a late work meeting or my kid has an afterschool event…”.

For more information on this strategy, my full article on action planning is here.

To learn how to set the kind of goals that will help you be successful, download my FREE Goal-Setting Guide. This eBook will walk you through the process of finding your deep motivation, creating specific goals, breaking them into actionable steps, and making plans to ensure you follow through.

Focus on bright spots: things that are already working or have worked before.

The rider doesn’t do well with uncertainty. If you don’t know what will work, if you’re not confident in your plans, or if you’re constantly thinking about what you’re doing wrong, that’s going to make it harder for your rider to confidently direct your elephant.

Instead, lean on the things you already know can work for you, including your previous successes and what’s already going right.

I wrote an article on leveraging existing habits, and another about using your existing strengths to achieve your goals. Check them out for help with this strategy.

Strategies For Your Elephant

Find the positive emotions in what you’re doing.

Don’t force yourself to do something you don’t really like to do, even if you think it’s the “best” way to achieve your goal. If everyone is telling you that you need to run but you hate running, don’t run. Find an activity that’s fun and emotionally rewarding.

That could be the activity itself; maybe you really like kayaking or dancing, or jumping rope. You could make your activity more enjoyable by changing your location. Maybe there’s a beautiful trail nearby where you could take your daily walks. You could make it enjoyable by adding social support, doing an activity with a friend or family member.

My article on building better motivation to exercise can help you make some tweaks to your routine so you enjoy your exercise more.

Make the change simple and easy.

A big overwhelming change will spook your elephant. It will expect discomfort and failure and try to avoid it. Start with something that you know you can accomplish, and that won’t be too difficult or exhausting.

Let’s take high intensity interval training, for example. Yes, it’s very effective for improving your fitness, but it’s also very hard and unpleasant while you’re doing it. That’s not the right thing to start with if you’re trying to get your elephant moving in the right direction. Instead, a lower intensity exercise that will feel good both during and after the workout is a better option. You can build up to more strenuous exercise later.

Check out my full article about “shrinking the change” for more information about this strategy.

Remember, leading a healthy lifestyle is hard. If you’ve struggled in the past, it’s not that you’re lazy or unmotivated, it’s part of the way your brain is wired. These strategies can help. Good luck!

If you need help, contact me!