The Myth Of Discipline And Why What You Really Need Is Better Motivation

The other day, someone said to me “you’re so disciplined with your exercise and eating. I wish I could be like that.”

Here is the truth: I am not disciplined with my exercise and eating habits.

I understand why it would look that way. I exercise most days, and I've done that almost every week for more than 20 years. In my workouts, I push myself to do hard things even if they’re uncomfortable, and I run even when it’s hot, cold, or raining (a little).

I prep and cook most of my meals from scratch from whole ingredients, I don’t eat a lot of processed foods, and I drink a vegetable and fruit smoothie every day.

But here’s the important point: I want to do those things. I love the way exercise makes me feel, and I look forward to it. I enjoy the process of meal prepping, especially when we do it as a family.

It doesn’t take discipline to do something you love.

That’s not to say that it’s easy, or to diminish what I do or the accomplishments of people who work hard to lead a healthy lifestyle in a world that encourages the exact opposite.

But for most of the people you see on social media who make it look easy, they’re not disciplined. They’re intrinsically motivated to do the things they do.

That’s a very important difference.

Discipline is pushing yourself to do something you really don’t want to do. It’s about restraint, punishment, and self-control.

That’s the opposite of what a healthy lifestyle and exercise should be. A sustainable healthy lifestyle should make you feel good. Exercise should bring you joy.

The Difference Between Discipline And Motivation

There are hard aspects of the way I live.

I really do like most of the healthy food I eat, but not all of it. For example, I have a hobby of fermenting vegetables at home. It takes some time and effort, and while I decided to start doing it for my gut microbiome’s sake, I kept doing it because I enjoy the process.

Every once in a while, I’ll ferment some turmeric. As delicious as it sounds (just kidding, I know how gross it sounds…), fermented turmeric is challenging to eat. But I do it anyway. Because I’m disciplined? Nope.

I see that challenge as part of who I am – someone who wants to prioritize their health, someone who does the hard thing when they believe in it. Plus, I “shrink the change” by eating only a small amount at a time.

You could argue that that’s discipline, but it doesn’t feel like it to me. I want to take on that challenge, and I feel good about myself when I do it.

There are plenty of other health behaviors that I don’t enjoy and don’t align with what’s important to me, and I don’t do those things.

Stop Practicing Discipline And Start Building Better Motivation

A lot of people are currently forcing themselves to do workouts they hate and restricting or depriving themselves of certain foods. Those people are practicing discipline.

In my many years of experience in the health and fitness industry, I can tell you that discipline does not create a long-term, sustainable, and enjoyable healthy lifestyle. The vast majority of people who rely on discipline do not stick to their exercise programs.

Next time you look at someone who has the lifestyle or body you want and think, “I wish I had that much discipline…”, recognize that what you want (and what they have) is not discipline, it’s motivation.

And it’s not just any motivation. It’s not motivation to avoid a lecture at the doctor’s office or impress someone at a high school reunion. It’s the kind of motivation that comes from truly enjoying their lifestyle.

At the end of the day, we do things we really enjoy, or that tap into a deep sense of meaning and value and align with our self-identity.

It sometimes takes discipline to get started, but if you want to stick to exercise consistently in a way that makes your life better, not worse, you should work on building good quality motivation. Once you have that, everything else will fall into place.

If you need help getting started, contact me. All of my one-on-one personal training programs include coaching and education to help you connect with the benefits of exercise and build healthy motivation.