How I Finally Built A Meditation Habit
I care a lot about my health and fitness, but I struggled for a long time with meditation and mindfulness. Despite knowing the benefits and truly wanting it to be a part of my routine, I could never make it stick.
Finally in 2024, after many years of inconsistent effort, I was able to turn my good intentions into action and create a sustainable meditation habit.
Here’s how I did it and what I learned.
I Stopped Worrying Whether I Was Doing It Right
As a perfectionist, I struggled when meditation didn’t come easily to me.
My mind would wander, and I would get frustrated. I had a nagging thought – If I’m not doing this right, I’m not going to get the benefits. And if I’m not getting the benefits, why am I bothering?
There was a big shift when I realized that simply trying to meditate is beneficial enough.
I’d learned this lesson a long time ago with exercise. You don’t have to do it “right”, and not every session will be a good one.
Whether you feel like you’re sailing through your workout or you’re struggling through it, the hidden benefits are always building up. Every time you challenge your muscles, they release chemicals that make your body and brain work better. Little by little, you get fitter and healthier.
This happens even if you’re not doing it perfectly. Simply showing up and making an effort builds resilience and persistence, and over time you get better at the skills of working out.
I finally understood that it’s the same with meditation. Even if I felt like I was struggling, I was still getting small benefits that would build on themselves. Just as importantly, I was slowly building the skills that would help me be a better meditator.
Once I started to think of each session as a learning experience instead of expecting perfection, I found that I started getting better.
I Learned Different Methods
Finding the Calm app, and specifically Jeff Warren’s 30-day beginner meditation course, was a game-changer for me. That course introduced me to strategies I hadn’t known existed.
The most impactful lesson was that I could use different “home bases” to return to when my mind would wander, rather than just my breathing. Using the sound in my environment worked particularly well for me.
I Expanded My Practice
I changed the way I approached my meditation practice to make it more achievable and enjoyable.
I had previously thought I had to meditate in a very specific way: sitting cross-legged (crisscross applesauce, as my kids would say), eyes closed, in a quiet room, focusing on my breathing.
Instead, I took my practice outside to my patio where I like to drink a cup of tea and watch the birds fly by and the squirrels jump from tree to tree.
The sound of the birds and the wind rustling through the trees made for a good home base, and being out in nature made the whole experience much more enjoyable. Plus I got to enjoy a nice cup of tea.
This is similar to a strategy I often recommend with exercise. If you have a narrow view of what exercise is and how you need to do it, expanding your definition will open up many more options for you.
I Shrunk The Change
It turned out I’d been making a lot of common mistakes. Along with expecting perfection and having a rigid view of how meditation should be done, I had also been trying to do too much, too soon.
I usually planned to sit down for a 20-minute meditation, but many times the thought of struggling with my own thoughts for that long that felt overwhelming. I often found an excuse to skip it.
I decided to “shrink the change” and start with just five minutes at a time, since that was realistic and achievable. This is when my practice really started to click. I could almost always find just five minutes to sit down and meditate.
Sometimes five minutes was really all I could handle that day, but often once I got started I would keep sitting for 10 or 15 minutes.
These days I can do 20 minutes. After months of consistent practice, it doesn’t feel overwhelming anymore.
I Was Flexible And Resilient
Most mornings I had time to sit and meditate outside with my cup of tea for at least five minutes. Those mornings were wonderful.
Some mornings my kids woke up early and it was pure chaos from the minute I got out of bed to the time we had to leave for school.
In the past, missing my morning meditation would have thrown me totally off.
It helped to stop being too rigid with my practice. I made a daily action plan and did what I needed to do to set myself up for success, like waking up a few minutes early and prepping my breakfast the night before to give myself more time in the mornings.
I also made sure I had Plan Bs ready. If the morning didn’t work out, I would incorporate my meditation into my breathing cool-down at the end of my workout or do it before bed.
The key was being proactive and intentional, but also cutting myself some slack if everything didn’t go exactly to plan.
I also didn’t give up. Even after years of ups and downs, I kept trying.
Sometimes it’s easy, and sometimes I still have setbacks. But as I often say to clients, success isn’t linear. As long as you’re still trying, you haven’t failed.
All of these insights and strategies could apply to any healthy habit you’re trying to build. Shrink the change, learn about different variations that still “count”, focus on progress instead of perfection, make your goal enjoyable and achievable, and keep trying.
You’ve got this!
If You Need Help
Whether you want to build a consistent meditation practice or any other health and fitness habit, it starts with a clear goal and a thought-out action plan.
My FREE Goal-Setting eBook can help. It walks you step-by-step through the process of setting effective and actionable goals and making plans to achieve them.
